Let's Touch Thingies
by Chip-Nips
Summary: The boys can't decide who's more 'equipped' for pleasing the ladies. They compare schlong sizes and things go differently than expected.


"Heh heh…that girl has big thingies"

Beavis was hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared, wide eyed, at the television screen.

"Uh-huh huh huh…yeah…" Butthead slumped back against the couch cushions. He lazily ran his tongue along his protruding gums and took another swig of cola. Beavis took a cue from his friend and did the same. The two boys continued to watch the flashing pictures on the screen. There was a video on of a busty blonde woman washing a car. She was covered in suds and her breasts were rubbing against the windows. An interior shot from the car flashed on and there was a view of the shadow that her breasts made as they slapped against the glass.

"Uhhhhhhhh woah!" Butthead exclaimed and leaned in closer to get a better look. "This is cool!"

Beavis started laughing a bit more excitedly and his eyes widened to become even larger than they were before, almost as if they were bugging out of his head.

"Woah, Beavis!" Butthead giggled oafishly and scooted back a bit from his companion. "Huh huh…you have a stiffy."

Beavis looked down at his crotch and examined the lump in the center of his shorts.

"Heh heh…yeah…I guess I do…heh heh!" He said as he re-adjusted his position. He glanced over at Butthead.

"Heh heh, look, Butthead! You've got one too, heh heh…"

Butthead looked down as well and Beavis was right. His boner was standing as tall and proud as his buddy's.

"Huh huh huh...that's cool…" He laughed again and slumped back down, spreading his legs apart immaturely. "Huh huh…check it out, I can make it dance…" He clenched the muscles in his groin and his stiffy bounced up and down slightly.

"Heh heh, that's gross!" Beavis screeched and laughed. "Heh, let me try!" He assumed the same position as his friend and wiggled his butt around, trying to produce a reaction.

"That's not how you do it, fart-knocker!" Butthead observed the incompetence of his friend. "You have to like, squeeze your muscles and stuff…"

"Heh heh…you want me squeeze my muscle? Heh heh…okay!" Beavis laughed again and stood up from the couch. He wiggled around again and started to undo his pants.

"WOAH! What're you doing, dillweed?" Butthead exclaimed and grimaced. "I didn't say to take your pants off!"

Beavis grinned stupidly and looked back at Butthead. "Heh heh, you said you wanted me to squeeze my muscle. I can't do that with my pants on." He spoke matter-of-factly and pulled his shorts down to his ankles, exposing his 'rump'.

"That's not what I meant, butt-munch! That's, like, gross dude. Put your pants back on."

Beavis ignored his friend's complaint and turned around to face him. He made a thrusting motion with his hips that made Butthead grimace and make a gagging sound.

"Heh heh…I can't wait to score so all the chicks can get a load of this!"

He grinned and did an awkward dance as his exposed penis waggled back and forth.

"Uh huh huh…dude…that's gross. Put that thing away. Besides, it's like, tiny. Huh huh huh…" Butthead frowned and kicked at Beavis.

Butthead's idle blow missed but Beavis still looked a bit upset.

"Like yours is any bigger, asswipe."

"Wanna bet?" Butthead got up and stood across from Beavis. He dropped his shorts and exposed his own genitals.

"Heh heh…I dunno. Looks pretty small to me…" Beavis laughed.

Butthead was starting to get angry. He wasn't the most well endowed guy in the world but he had to be at least a bit bigger than this butt-munch.

"Uh huh huh, no way, dude…mine's totally bigger. Yours looks like one of those mini-weenies you get at parties and stuff."

"Fine! Heh heh…let's measure then."

Before Butthead could retort, Beavis moved in and grabbed Butthead's boner. He pulled it against his own, trying to compare the length. A shock of white-hot heat shot up Butthead's spine as Beavis's hand connected with his crotch. His face turned red and he grunted.

"Ugggghh! What the hell, dude! Get your hand off my rod!"

"N-no wait a second! Look, see mine's bigger! Heh heh!"

Butthead tried to wriggle free. This was getting gay. Really gay, really fast! He had never felt a hand on his penis besides his own before so the feeling of Beavis touching his dong was strange and alien. It almost felt kind of good. His stiffy was getting…uhhhh…'stiffy-er' and blood was rushing to places he didn't even know existed. Beavis seemed to notice this and withdrew his hand. He laughed nervously and frowned.

"S-see? It's bigger, Butthead, see?"

Butthead was a bit annoyed that the weird feeling had stopped. He paused for a second and then grabbed Beavis's dick and pulled it against his again.

"Let me…uhhh…take a look now."

Beavis choked a bit.

"Woah! Get off me, gaywad! Th-this isn't funny anymore!"

Butthead didn't want to let go. That weird feeling was kind of awesome in a strange way. He wasn't gay. He liked chicks. This all started because he had gotten a stiffy from a chick. He just…liked that weird feeling.

Beavis was getting more frantic. He face was flushed and he tried to pry Butthead's fingers away, but they were clamped on tight. Butthead adjusted his hand to get a better grip and pulled Beavis closer. Beavis cried out and wiggled, as Butthead's grip got tighter: more needy.

Butthead realized that things were getting a bit weird. He suddenly released his grip and Beavis fell to the floor.

"Uh huh huh huh…sorry dude."

"What the heck is the matter with you, Butthead?" Beavis screeched. "Why are you so obsessed with touching my schlong?"

"Uh huh huh…I dunno. It just felt kind of weird. Like, we never scored so, nobody really touched our schlongs before and stuff."

Beavis grunted and looked nervous. He fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt, trying to cover himself up as he got up off the floor.

"Heh heh…I guess so. Heh, it did feel kind of cool." He didn't really want to say this but it did feel sort of good when Butthead had that grip on him.

"Huh huh…may be we can, like…do it again…"

Butthead looked down at the floor and back up at Beavis. He couldn't believe he was proposing such a thing, but that electric feeling was just too good to pass up.

"Woah! No way, Butthead! That's like, gay and stuff!" Beavis edged back a bit and eyed his friend cautiously.

"It's not gay if we pretend a chick's doing it, dumbass." Butthead retorted plainly, as if he knew exactly what he was talking about. Beavis looked back up at him and his face relaxed a bit.

"Heh heh…I guess…I guess that does make sense. Heh heh. Ok, cool! Let's touch thingies!"

"Uh huh huh…uhhhhh okay."

Butthead grasped Beavis's erection again and pulled on it a bit. This caused his friend to shiver a bit and make a noise that sounded like some sort of weird bird. He tugged a bit more and Beavis fell forward a bit, grabbing his shoulders for support. His knees were knocking and he was wheezing a bit. This was the weirdest thing he'd ever felt, but he didn't want it to stop too soon.

"Heh heh, woah!" He croaked. "That feels, like, pretty good, heh heh."

He reached out his own hand and grabbed Butthead. Butthead jumped a bit at the sudden contact but relaxed quickly as Beavis began to tug amateurly on his boner.

"Uhh huh huh…yeah" Butthead increased speed and Beavis followed suit. Soon the two boys were pretty much whacking each other off. Their bodies pressed together awkwardly as their arms pumped frantically back and forth. Their faces were so close together that Butthead's braces hit Beavis square in the forehead.

"Ow! W-watch it, asswipe!"

"Uh huh huh…shut up, wuss." Butthead grunted and continued whacking. After a while things eventually 'erupted' and the boys slumped back onto the couch.

"Huh huh…woah! So that's what it feels like." Butthead said through heavy breaths. "That was cool."

"Heh heh…yeah…that was pretty cool." Beavis agreed as he tried to rub the result of the whack-fest off his thigh.

"We should, like, do that again sometime." Butthead said, almost sheepishly and looked at Beavis.

The smaller boy looked back at Butthead, a bit confused. This was the gayest thing they'd ever done; it would be weird to do it another time. Then again, they couldn't turn back now, anyway.

"Uh, heh heh. Ok, just don't tell anybody. I don't want people to thing we're gaywads."

He pulled his knobbly knees up to his chest and covered them with his shirt.

"Uh huh huh huh, why would I tell anybody, butt-munch? This was gay as crap."

"Heh heh, yeah. Heh heh. Gay as crap." Beavis repeated what his friend had said and subconsciously rested his head on Butthead's shoulder.

END


End file.
